There is a certain peace in my heart right now that tells me I’m okay. Last week, I’ve been feeling just a bit afraid because I felt the need to declare my territory, to make sure that he’s mine and no one else can claim him. I was all giddy with all these tiny moments that I want to think are flirting moments but may really just be friendly and circumstantial. I like it when they tease me, even if I know in my heart that it’s not good for me.
Today I found some sort of peace in my heart, where I am not in any hurry. I don’t know what it is exactly or how it came about. It’s not the same as the off moments with the previous one where I don’t like the guy at all. With this one, think I still somehow like him, but I don’t feel the constant need to have moments with him. I am okay with friendly gestures. Or just simply seeing him virtually. I am okay with that. It doesn’t mean I may like him any less, and it doesn’t fuel any fires. I am…okay. No hurry.
I have to remember that every story is different and other stories don’t have to be my story too. I’m okay. I still wish there’s something that would come out of this, but I don’t think I’d be devastated if there’s none. For the first time ever I think I am finally appreciating the road I am in, the getting to know stage, and I am learning to do away with my expectations.
I like him, but that is just about it. And I’m okay with that. :)
